Ways to Annoy the Twilight Characters
by LOSHLOVERXOXO
Summary: Includes Alice, JAser, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, Bella, and jacob
1. Emmett Cullen

**R & R PLEASE AND THANK YOU **

Emmett Cullen 

1. Beat him at arm wrestling 

2. Laugh at him when he flips out 

3. Break his Wii or another game he has 

4. Tell him Rosalie is not allowing sexual attraction for a month 

5. Tell him Edward is in love with him 

6. Remind him he's stupid 

7. Tell him grizzlies went extinct 

8. Tell him pranks are now against the law 

9. Tell him he looks like a lumpy pillow

10. Tell him Jacob has a burning passion for him 

11. Tell him he should get Jacob's mind straight 

12. Laugh when he explains to Jacob about him being straight 

13. Ask him about the Birds and The bees 

14. Tell him it's not muscle-it's fat 

15. Put his jeep up on auction 

16. Ask him what his special power is 

17. When he says he has none say it's you're stupidity 

18. Tell him Rosalie and Edward are making out in the closet 

19. Tell him to get his revenge by kissing Bella 

20. Get Edward 

21. Laugh when Edward chases Emmett 

22. Tell him wrestling is stupid 

23. Tell him sex is against the law 

24. Hurt Bella and blame it on him 

25. Watch and laugh as Edward chases him around the room 

26. Show him the Elmo kills Barney YouTube tape 

27. Tell him Rosalie hates him 

28. Watch as he dry-sobs 

29. Beat him at a video game 

30. Then bet he can't swear for over twenty-four hours and watch him lose 

**EMMETT RULES!! R & R **


	2. Rosalie Hale

**LOL I HAD TO DO IT. **

30 Ways To Annoy The Cullen Kids 

Rosalie Hale 

1. Call her Rosalie Cullen 

2. Dye her hair lime green 

3. Tell her she looks like an ass's behind 

4. Tell her Emmett trashed her BMW 

5. Lock her and Jacob on a closet with a book full of blond jokes 

6. Ask her what how she was able to change herself to get Emmett 

7. Key her car 

8. Run 

9. Rip her clothes 

10. Steal her makeup 

11. Tell her to take off the mask she is wearing it's not Halloween 

12. Run 

13. Tell her Emmett is dating Ugly Betty 

14. Replace her mirror with a smaller mirror 

15. Make the mirror make her look fat 

16. Bring home a cat and point at her saying "There's your scratching post" 

17. Hand her a diet magazine 

18. Run 

19. Tell her to eat she's starting to look anorexic 

20. Dare her to eat cake 

21. After eating the cake tell her to go burn all the calories off 

22. Ask her to use some of her hair for my violin bow 

23. Ask her if she's related to Lassie 

24. Tell her Emmett has bad taste in woman 

25. Pay Emmett to flirt with another girl 

26. When a kid comes up to her come behind her and say " Don't worry she won't bite, unless you're mean to her" 

27. Run 

28. Make out with Emmett 

29. Pay Emmett to say I was a better kisser 

30. Run 

**LOL R&R **


	3. Alice Cullen

**LOVE YA'LL. YOU ROCK **

Alice Cullen 

1. Ask her to predict the future

2. Tell her she hates shopping. 

3. Tell her all the shops closed down 

4. Stand next to Jacob and yell "HAHAHA. YOU CAN'T SEE ME" 

5. Run 

6. Mess with Jasper's emotions 

7. Dress her up as a fortune teller 

8. Put a crystal ball in front of her and laugh 

9. Get her number and post on the internet "Free Fortunes" 

10. Rip her clothes 

11. Steal her shoes 

12. Switch her clothes with pixie outfits 

13. Ask her why she has a mohawk for hair

14. Dye her hair 

15. Tell her and Jasper is really loud 

16. Ask her to predict the future again 

17. Wear hippy clothes in front of her 

18. Graffiti her car 

19. Take away all her credit cards 

20. Cut them all in half 

21. Teel her Jasper went back to Maria 

22. Have Edward save Bella from Bella Barbie 

23. Have Edward save Bella from shopping 

24. Sing her up for Peter Pan as Tinker Bell 

25. Keep changing your mind 

26. Buy all your clothes from Hot Topic 

27. The say I'm going Jasper 

28. Run 

29. Blame everything on Emmett 

30. Run from Emmett 

**R & R **


	4. Jasper Hale

Jasper Hale 

1. Tell him emotional men are gay 

2. Change your emotions all the time 

3. Tell him the Confederate Army sucks 

4. Tell him Maria is looking for him 

5. Call him emo

6. Run 

7. Every time you see him salute him 

8. Ruin his clothes and make him go shopping with Alice 

9. Lock him in a room with a bleeding human 

10. Lock him in a room full of girls that are pregnant

11. Lock him in a room full of girls with their periods 

12. Watch him suffer 

13. Have Emmett join in on the emotional rampage 

14. Show affection towards someone 

15. Watch him stare at the one you supposedly love 

16. Salute him 

17. Have Emmett continuously salute him 

18. Call him general 

19 Or officer 

20. Salute him 

21. Feel hatred towards Alice 

22. Run up and try to bite him 

23. Get a paper cut and stick it on your mouth 

24. Listen to Bleed it Out around him 

25. Give him a confederate sit 

26. Burn it. 

27. Give him a piece of paper that says TURN OVER on both sides 

28. Laugh and say ha you are really a blond 

29. Have Emmett and Edward hold him down to watch Hannah Montana 

30. Laugh at his dispense 

**R & R **


	5. Edward Cullen

Edward Cullen 

1. Give him a dog named Jacob 

2. Destroy his piano 

3. Destroy his Cds

4. Blame it on Bella 

5. Laugh at him while he tries to control his anger cause he can't hurt Bella 

6. Ask if he can turn to a bat 

7. When he pretends to order lunch warn him that there is garlic in it 

8. Tell him Jacob kissed Bella again 

9. Block him from everything 

10. By doing that sing a really annoying song 

11. Get Emmett to help you 

12. Watch him go crazy 

13. Key his Volvo 

14. Blame it on Emmett 

15. When Bella goes to LA Push tell him she went to elope with Jacob 

16. Tell him Bella got pregnant 

17. With Mike 

18. Think about Bella rudely 

19. Give Mike a picture of Bella 

20. Laugh when Edward hears even more rude comments from Mike's head 

21. Dress up as a mountain lion for Halloween 

22. Then say to him "Please don't eat me." 

23. Put him in a closet with Jessica and Lauren 

24. Don't take him out until he starts to beg 

25. Make sure Lauren and Jessica are drunk 

26. Make a joke about him going to die 

27. When he says I'm already dead drag him to the cemetery where a dug up grave if for him 

28. Tell Charlie he's a robot 

29. To prove your point say "Look no heartbeat!" 

30. RUN REALLY FAST towards LA Push 

**IT WAS FUN DOING EDWARD JACOB IS NEXT **


	6. Bella Swan

Bella Swan 

1. Tell her Edward died 

2. Tell her Jacob did it 

3. Watch and laugh while she yells at Jacob 

4. Switch Bella's birthday gift with Vampire Fangs 

5. Tell Her Alice has a plan to take her shopping 

6. Set her up with a date with Mike Newton 

7. Have Emmett prank her for a week straight 

8. Ask her if Jacob is her pet 

9. When she says no ask her if Edward can turn into a bat 

10. Tell her Edward went cliff diving 

11. Into a ocean of kerosene 

12. And You did her a favor by accidentally dropping a lit match over the cliff 

13. Put in red contacts and say "Look what Edward did to me!" 

14. Put a fake dog tail in her lunch 

15. Then say poor Jacob 

16. Give her a flier saying "Vampire slayers needed." 

17. Laugh at her reaction 18. Next time she falls so "Bon Voyage" 

19. Tell her Edward doesn't love her 

20. Laugh at her 

21. Don't bother to run because she'll just trip any way 

22. When she's a vampire ask her if her power is to trip other people

23. Run because she's a vamp now 

24. Give her a pet bat and name it Edward 

25. Get a glass of punch 

26. And drink it 

27. Then say "Whoops that wasn't punch." 

28. Then say "Poor Charlie 

29. Laugh when she wheezes 

30. Run because Edward will try to get you 

**NEXT IS EDWARD. HE WILL BE FUN. I WILL ALSO DO JACOB BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S JACOB. **


	7. Jacob Black

Jacob Black 

1. Get him a cat and name it Edward 

2. Tell him not to chase it 

3. When he says I have to go the Bathroom tell him there's a tree outside 

4. Give him a picture of Bella and Edward kissing 

5. Then tell him he lost his girl to a corpse

6. Give him a chew toy for a birthday present 

7. Ask him if he is related to Lassie

8. Throw a twig and say "Fetch!" 

9. Ask if he wears a tick collar 

10. Warn him to stay away from jewelry stores 

11. When he says I'm running out of clothes take him Petsmart 

12. When he says something nice to Edward give him a bone 

13. When there's a full moon out say "Oh great Jacob's going to change." 

14. Ask him if he can get rabies 

15. Never use English around him 

16. Bark instead 

17. Tell him he runs a temp of 108 but Bella still doesn't find him hot 

18. Tell him he's a heater 

19. Tell him dogs make good pets, not good couples 

20. Call him man's best friend 

21. Destroy his car 

22. Instead of getting Carlisle when he's sick get a vet 

23. Check every night to see if he has ticks 

24. Enter him in a dog show 

25. Enroll him in a dog obedience school 

26. When you see a girl allergic to dogs say to him "Don't go near her she's allergic to canines." 

27. Get a dog bowl for him 

28. When he sleeps over your house put newspaper on the ground 

29. Ask hi if he chases his tail 

30. Run while saying "I'M A CAT PERSON!" 

**FIN HE WAS FUN TO DO. I JUST PUT THAT UP FOR NO REASON **


End file.
